"Jordan Baker instinctively avioded clever, shrewd men. She was incurably dishonest" (F.Scott 57-58)
Monday 28 May 2012
Marriage to Nick , why I hardly know him! Sometimes I wonder if Daisy jumps to new things too quickly. I like to observe a situation and make certain moves with great thought. I wouldn't want to do something and have it turn around and get me in the end. I hadn't put to much though into marriage in my life, I can't say I would enjoy being tied down to someone. No one is faithful from what I have seen , so why would I get myself into something like that ? I wouldn't that's why! If I were to marry I'd have a man to worry about, I wouldn't have enough mind to worry about a man and myself and what I'm going to need to do to stay ahead. I've only got my aunt and myself. I've had to look after myself most my life. I didn't get to have someone look after me and tend to my needs, I did it all myself. And maybe that's why I attach myself to Daisy and Tom , maybe that's why I cannot be at a disadvantage, why I cheat to get where I need to be, I lie. But whats what I've always needed to do! So no, I don't need a husband to further complicate my life.
Daisy Fay. I'll never forget that names as she's the girl I spend most of my teen years looking up to . I admired Daisy, she was always the pretty girl dressed in white, while I was the outside girl dressed in plaid skirts. I was always looked at in disapproval, where Daisy was always number one. She got looked at in the romantic way every girl wants to be looked at , and I'm sure at that time every girl got there chance of being looked at like that, every girl accept me. I realized at a young age that if you wanted to be looked at with respect and dignity you needed to have money. Daisy was no different than I , sure she may have been prettier but the big difference was that she had money. She still has money, and that's an advantage to me. I don't care much for Tom and his racist attitude, or Daisy's lack of care when it comes to her husband having an affair, but I enjoy the money. If I wasn't friends with Tom and Daisy, and didn't cheat my way through golf, I'd still be that outside girl I was seen as when I was a teen, and I refuse to be that girl again. I am Jordan Baker, golf champion! People know my name!
Everyone always makes such a big fuss over Gatsby at his parties. They know nothing about him, and yet they still come to gossip. I know Gatsby, and well I must say he's not very special, just an ordinary man. I didn't know what to think at first when Gatsby wanted to speak to me alone, but I knew it must have had something to do with Daisy. That man just never gives up! It's been five years and he's still after her. If it were me , I would have given up years ago, or lied to get her back. Id'a just told her I had all the money in the world from the start and maybe then she wouldn't have left him. But maybe that's just me. This new guy Nick though, that's what Gatsby should be really interested in. He'd be perfect to get Daisy back. Daisy trusts him , he's her cousin and I seen how happy she was when he came around. I should get Gatsby to use Nick to get Daisy. Nick asked me to tea and that would be the perfect time for me to talk to him about Gatsby's past with Daisy and convince him to get Daisy to see him. I think this will work splendid! I'm so clever. It's a good thing the men I like aren't clever, then I may be at a disadvantage, and I couldn't stand that.
Sunday 27 May 2012
It's been several weeks since Nick's been here with me in New York with my aunt. Something gives me the feeling that he's trying very hard with her. I wish I had more family to introduce him to, but i've only got my aunt. I'm growing quite fond of Nick. I don't know what it is about him, he's different, not like your ordinary shrewd man. He doesn't bother much with Gatsby lately. I wonder if he's given up on Gatsby, gotten tired of Gatsby's obsessive love for Daisy? Or Gatsby's hope of re-living the past? But I don't think Nick's one to just give up, he's not a careless person, that's why I like him. Although I'm unsure if Daisy would benifit much from Gatsby, she'd surely be treated better. Tom's such a cruel man, and Daisy's a fool. I know she must love Gatsby as I've watched her reactions when his name is spoken of. I've seen the change in her after she's been with him , shes much happier. She knows of Tom's other woman and does nothing, I feel pity for her. Nick's not like Tom, and to hell with him if he were. I think Nick must be missing Gatsby as he mentioned this Sunday morning about going to see Gatsby later this afternoon.
Listening to him makes me sick! I am outraged that Nick could possibly be doing this to me. This is why I avoid clever, shrewd men. I liked Nick, I thought he was different, but I guess I was wrong. Nothing like meeting another bad driver, huh? Nick is a no one, and maybe so am I, but I however am a golf champion! Even if I did cheat a little, who doesn't cheat to get ahead anymore? Nick through me over on the phone and that makes me have enough of him! Although, it was a new experience for me, and did have me feeling something wonderful, I simply will not put up with a careless person! I hate careless people. I'll just do what im used to, lie. That's all a smart woman can do, is lie. I'll tell him im engaged. He probably wont by it, but it will put me at ease. Besides, what more could go wrong? Everyone is caught up in such a mess. Poor Daisy doesn't know what she wants. Once I idolized Daisy Fay. Now i see to her as a wreck. She's a weak woman, full of money and could have anything she wanted in this world. Yet how can i bare to sit and watch her perfect little world fall apart ?
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